Harmony in the Way We Talk
Don’t murder. Don’t lie. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Be mindful of your words. Which one seems less severe or even out of place from the others? It makes sense if there was a communal list of dos and don’ts to not kill people, cheat, or steal, but to have a charge about words seems like an afterthought in the “world peace” discussion. The Bible has other things to say about that.
I’ve been reading through the Psalms recently and I came across something interesting the other day. In Psalm 12, David is talking about how the faithful have vanished from the earth and his observation is, “neighbors lie to each other, speaking with flattering lips and deceitful hearts” (Psalm 12:3).
How we speak to and about other people matters. This has been something that’s been convicting for me of late. It’s easy to say a negative about somebody else. We’re told in the wisdom book of Proverbs, “A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends” (Proverbs 16:28).
It’s apropos that the author of Proverbs uses “seeds” in his above description. See, what I want to point out is this – it may feel at the time like flippancy, but our words are like seeds and when we give those words time and repetition – they produce something.
Have you experienced this in your life before? When you start nodding along to negative speech about a friend, or for the sake of “venting” you express the totality of your frustration to someone else about another. What does it do? If you’re anything like me, I start to believe my words. And when those words are tearing someone else down, then I begin to feel validated in the tearing down.
Friend, this is not to be so. Time and time again we’re told in the New Testament about this “one new body” (Ephesians 4:4-6) and about unity amongst the believers. It’s time we play our part. Unity cannot be found in a culture of gossip and negativity.
I believe this is why God, in His infinite wisdom, talks so much about how we use our words towards other people. It’s easy not to murder someone, but Jesus took it a step further in His Sermon on the Mount when He said, “If you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgement” (Matthew 5:21b).
The point Jesus is getting to is the focus is less about our actions towards others, but rather our heart’s intent towards others. Lastly, James talks about the tongue this way in his short letter, “For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way… A small rudder makes a huge ship turn … the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches” (James 3:2-5).
I want to challenge you, friend, where is your tongue leading you? Are you planting seeds in your heart that are building your friends up or tearing your friends down? We are called to live in unity and harmony with one another. So much of this charge can be accomplished simply by carving out the negative words we speak of one another. Prayerfully consider today where the Lord might be moving you to make a change in the way you talk – and especially about your friends.
