I spent this past week counseling at a Christian Summer Camp called Hume Lake with my home church’s youth group. It’s a week filled with milkshakes, frisbee golf, messages, laughter, and little sleep. It is a fun week, but it’s also a hard week. It’s uncomfortable at times and spiritually challenging.

Whether consciously or subconsciously, the thought crept into my mind, “I wonder what blessing I’ll receive for this.” Where did that come from? Is that not the exact opposite the perspective to wield during a time of serving. It’s what came next that makes that thought comical. I dislocated my shoulder the second to last day at camp and came home with Covid – not quite the “blessing” I had in mind.

See, we live in a culture that is run by transactions. I will exchange a certain amount of money for you to perform this specific service. Or, if you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. Our Western society functions this way.

This isn’t a post intended to defend or denounce Capitalism and Western thought. The point is to shed some light on the fact that the cultural arena we find ourselves in has a way of seeping into other areas of life.

Back to Hume, a part of me was frustrated. It in some ways felt unfair. You think by saying yes to something like this that an amazing thing may happen. You may finally meet your wife or have some great spiritual breakthrough, not tear your labrum and find yourself restricted physically.

I found myself holding the feeling of the Psalmist when he says, “How long, Oh, Lord” (Psalm 13). This honest heart-cry of where are you, Lord. Part of me is there. But I recall our nighttime cabin conversations. The ones of challenge discussing sin, the Person of Jesus, and His miraculous resurrection on our behalf.

The holiness of some of those conversations reminded me again of the Psalmist’s words, “better is one day in your court, than a thousand elsewhere” (Psalm 84:10). In the Psalms, there is much to be learned. We see, just in these two examples, a model of truly honest prayer in the longing for God to show up and then such a full understanding of God’s “other-ness” and superiority. To just be near His Presence for a single day is better than all the days anywhere else.

Have you ever been through something like this? Where you almost feel the struggle of your emotions fighting to conclude one way or another. Was that week unfair or was it beautiful? Did I get gypped or did I get a taste of the Kingdom?

Here’s where I’m trusting to land my plane. A necessary truth for us to understand anytime we’re in the wrestle, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9). There is a level of understanding and a story being played out that is outside of my awareness. I have to choose to believe yesterday, today, and tomorrow that God is in control, He’s good, and He’s more than worth my yes.